America takes its love affair with the hamburger to new extremes. The Heart Attack Grill just opened its doors in Dallas, Texas, serving up glutinous, lard saturated meals to an eager clientele.

"I don't eat perfectly, do you? Come on down and let's be sinners together at the Heart Attack Grill," is founder and owner, Jon Basso's – known as Dr. Jon - motto. Customers are referred to as patients and given hospital gowns and wrist bands upon entering the premises. Meals are served by waitresses in scantily clad nurse's garb, and Basso himself is dressed as a doctor.

The grill's menu gives a whole new meaning to fast-food. Meals range from the single by-pass burger all the way to the quadruple by-pass burger, which sports four, one-half pound (230 grams) hamburger patties, two slices of cheese and four slices of bacon per patty, which can be accompanied by an order of flatliner fries, cooked exclusively in lard.

Even the milkshakes are made with the highest cream content possible and are topped with an extra slice of butter. Weight watchers beware, the quadruple by-pass burger alone is estimated to be as much as 8,000 calories. There are no diet sodas available in this establishment. Unfiltered cigarettes and beer are also on the menu.

Patients over 350 pounds (160 kilograms), on the restaurants scale, eat for free. Those who finish a quadruple by-pass meal have their vitals checked and are wheeled out the establishment in a wheel chair.

The sign on the door reads "The Heart Attack Grill, the taste worth dying for." Basso's message is clear. "We sell burgers; we sell fries; we sell food for thought." Americans sharp rise in obesity rates have become a national crisis. But are Americans are sick of being told what is and isn't good for them? Perhaps they have become fatigued with yoyo dieting. Basso promises "a slow and steady weight gain. " The Heart Attack Grill serves" high calorie, high cholesterol, and high fun food," says Basso. "Laughter is what this is all about."

"The American Medical Association may continue to refuse to recognize me and burgerology and that's o.k. It's their choice to remain an exclusive boys club. We treat more patients than an actual doctor ever will with our message and reach about nutrition and how we should think about food," declares Basso.

People began lining up at 7 a.m. the day of the grand opening. David Matheny, amongst the first to arrive wants to be "the first patient in Dallas. It's the American way, and the burgers look awesome…burgers, fries, fried in lard, that's Texas." After tasting the double by-pass burger, he declared it was the best he'd ever had.

"It's not good for you," confesses Basso. "We are guilty as charged. We are blatant panders of junk food." "Don't come here every day. If you do, you will die."

Mimi Rohr


© 2011 Mimi Rohr